When the last time you had a crush? What did it feel like? Chances are this experience involved overwhelming feelings of passion, confusion and excitement. When someone is in this state of crush, thoughts about their partner (or desired partner) always dominate their mind. Thus, a person often thinks about their crush in highly idealized ways; their crush is the most beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate person in the world, and there is no way you can do in order for them to forget their "bubbly" feelings among their crush.
As I was researching about my topic, I found a article about idealizations about your Crush. It is entitled" The Magical Effects of Positive Illusions About Romantic Partners" by John Sakaluk in the website "scienceofrelationship". The article quickly caught my attention because it was something I was aware of. The illusion about your crush is somewhat an interesting issue.
The article talks about the idealizations called positive illusions, can occur at any relationship stage. This brings up an important question: are positive illusions good for relationships, or are you better off having a more realistic assessment of your partner? Your intuition might suggest the latter—that it’s best if you don’t put your partner on a pedestal. After all, your partner is only human and bound to disappoint your ideals at some point.
According to the article that people who idealized their romantic partners more (and were idealized more by their partners) experienced the most satisfaction with their relationships and were happier in them compared to people who idealized their partners less or were idealized by their partners less.
But there are circumstances where positive illusions don’t help,and can even hurt your relationship. If there are serious problems with your relationship already, for example, then thinking that your partner will live up to your ideal standards may only hasten the demise of your relationship. For instance, if there are serious trust issues between you and your partner, or one of you has troubling money management habits, you’re probably better off opting out of idealization, and going with a more realistic evaluation of your partner. If, however, you find yourself swept up in a crush, or are already in a good relationship where you idealize your partner, continue to dream big.
Another article entitled, "Psychologists say a crush only lasts for 4 months. But when feelings last longer, you are considered to be in love." by Sira Baldé in the website "factualfacts" instantly caught my attention in the first glance. It was mind blowing because of how do they prove what just they have said and It explains the different aspects and perspectives.
Accordig to the article, "A crush lasts on average for four months, if the feelings is the same beyond that, you're already in love." It is also mentioned in the article that women generally take longer to fall in love than men.
In my opinion the author generalize all of the factors and stages that transforms from crush to being in love. fwe all know that lust is the first factor of the stage. a feeling, it affects both sexes and it force us to go out there and look for a mate. The attraction stage is the second stage, where it is characterised by the typical symptoms of romantic love or strong infatuation between two people. The third and final stage is the attachment stage and is necessary if the couple in question is to stay in a long-term relationship. and this is maybe the stages that could happen in four months.
Maybe the reason for women taking longer to fall in love is because, women wants to be sure of their guys if they are reliable or somewhat building trust with them and can already cope up with the realization of the outside world. While men on the other hand, are generally more attracted to looks, and the energy of woman in the moment. I conclude that this particular fact may be more fitting for men than women.
Illusionss have their own individual themes but they all teach a certain lesson or value to people. In my opinion, positive illusions focuses on how you idealize your partner. It is necessarily the kind of ideas that people have in relationship. The ideas being shown in the article is the ideal and love for crush and partner.
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